Blame: The Toxic Fruit

000_6910Retouch“Have you eaten the fruit I commanded you not to eat?”

“Yes,” Adam admitted, “but it was the woman you gave me who brought me the fruit, and I ate it.”

Then the Lord asked the woman, “How could you do such a thing?”

“The serpent tricked me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” (Genesis 3:11-13)

Here we clearly see blaming others for our mistakes is nothing new. There are only two people on the earth and it doesn’t take long for them to start pointing the finger at one another and at God.

Recovery programs teach that resentments are the number one killer because they can trigger a relapse; and that can be deadly. Blame is usually at the root of most resentment.

It’s natural to want to blame our family for our troubles, especially if we’ve been hurt or abused by them. And while they may be the reason for some of our problems and emotional difficulties, it’s detrimental to our well-being to continue using them as an excuse (or anyone else for that matter).

The reason resentment and blame keep us in bondage to sin and addiction is because blame deflects our problems onto others and keeps us from being accountable. Secondly, it blocks us from seeing how our own characters flaws have contributed to our situation.

And finally, it’s futile because we can’t change past injustices. We can’t undo what we’ve done or what’s been done to us.

What we can do is take responsibility for our part in our troubles. It doesn’t mean we should blame ourselves and feel guilty for every mishap. It simply means we “accept responsibility for our past mistakes and take steps to correct them,” as it says in the Life Recovery Bible.

This opens the door to allow correction from ourselves, God and others. An honest evaluation of our character is painful at first but if we are humble enough to take the necessary steps to change our behavior we will be amazed at what will happen.

In this life, everyone is a victim of injustice at some point in time and there will always be plenty of blame to go around. How we react to it will determine if we will live a life marked by anger, blame, and bondage; or forgiveness, peace and freedom.

Jodie Stevens

One thought on “Blame: The Toxic Fruit

  1. Jodie this is great stuff. (!) I especially like your final point: In this life, everyone is a victim of injustice at some point in time and there will always be plenty of blame to go around. How we react to it will determine if we will live a life marked by anger, blame, and bondage; or forgiveness, peace and freedom.

    For next week’s cyber chat: Let’s talk about why blaming the cyberbully or the device makes it impossible to teach our children to be responsible users of cyber technology. I have found that parents are fearful that their child will be vulnerable to on line experiences that involve bullying, addiction and exploitation and it is that fear unchecked by our faith that is the greatest risk.

    We can call this segment: Why blaming the device or the bully creates more risk for your child

    Blaming involves a victim mentality, which is not of God. It requires us to surrender our personal power to overcome the undue influence of the world (physical and cyber realms).

    Your thoughts?

    Love,

    Joanna

    Joanna Jullien

    Author/Speaker/Educator

    Banana Moments Foundation: Help for Parenting in the Social Network

    Coalition for Placer Youth

    916-521-7203

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